So I decided to step my game up the tonight. I went to that Irish pub to drink instead of do it by myself, tried to flirt with that ginger bartender but she, like most women, only noticed the fishy smell. So anyways I'm walking back to my apartment when a fire erupted in my calf. Somebody shot me. My flesh and blood were flying through the air like a bottle of red champagne had been opened. It hurt, real bad. I looked up and saw some big SUV speeding off. I mean this hurt like shit. So I'm out there yelling some choice words and everyone looks at me like I'm being rude. Are you kidding me. There's a chunk missing from my leg. Eventually somebody called an ambulance and I got taken to the hospital. They fixed me up all right, gave me some of those fancy pain killers. Only problem now is I have to pay for them. So then some half-wit cops show up and question me, they aint gonna find whoever shot me, guy couldn't even walk and chew gum. The nurse was nice though, pretty also. I really got the feeling she cared for me. But I know you can't trust women, I learned that lesson. But on a high note I get to sleep in a bed with clean sheets tonight.