Final Countdown

So I was riding home in the rain the other day. It actually felt kinda nice since it was so god damn hot on the boat. Anyways I was riding home and I saw a body being taken out of the Fortune Teller shop, it was that crazy gypsy. I asked one of the guys working what happened and he said it looked like a heart attack. Now I feel bad for in a way but if she could see the future why wouldn't she have taken an asprin. Way to read that crystal ball. I guess thats what you get for scamming all of those people all of those years, finally came back and bit her in the ass. Oh well, glad I never wasted my money on her.

Its nice out now. All of the people seem to be happy all traces of the snow are gone. The few trees that are still alive are still green. And I am sunburnt. Out on that God forsaken boat all day left me like a fricken lobster. You would think I would have this leathery skin that doesn't get burnt anymore, but I'm no Johnny Depp sailing in that nice water, I'm on a Great Lake. I still haven't found out what's so great about it. Just a big dirty puddle to me. But then again, what is great for me. My job isn't great, my aparment isn't great, my love life isn't great. Shoot, the only thing that I think is great is cheap tequila. But you can be damn sure that cheap tequila equals a great night, and thats how I look at it.

So I'm back on the bike. It sucks, been two weeks since I got shot and every single god damn time I pedal my calf burns like shit. At least I got a little laugh on my way to the lake today. Saw some old guy with an army cap on going off on some punk trying to get money playing his pansy little guitar on the sidewalk. Bout time somebody told those guys what they really are. Man I can't stand those punks. Guys like the guy in the army go out and bust our asses everyday, and for some reason they still think they're better than us. Cuz they got talent. America wasn't built on talent, it was built on hard work. And now these punks are trying to take what we earned. That don't fly with me buddy. You know what, I may be miserable but I'm not ashamed. I bust my ass everyday so that people can eat. Try to tell me that I'm a failure. Someone's got to do it, and I stepped and did it. You know, we should stop letting those aspiring artist shop at the supermarket. Make them get their own food. That'll teach them. They should make some kind of reality show like that. I would tune into that one.

So I decided to step my game up the tonight. I went to that Irish pub to drink instead of do it by myself, tried to flirt with that ginger bartender but she, like most women, only noticed the fishy smell. So anyways I'm walking back to my apartment when a fire erupted in my calf. Somebody shot me. My flesh and blood were flying through the air like a bottle of red champagne had been opened. It hurt, real bad. I looked up and saw some big SUV speeding off. I mean this hurt like shit. So I'm out there yelling some choice words and everyone looks at me like I'm being rude. Are you kidding me. There's a chunk missing from my leg. Eventually somebody called an ambulance and I got taken to the hospital. They fixed me up all right, gave me some of those fancy pain killers. Only problem now is I have to pay for them. So then some half-wit cops show up and question me, they aint gonna find whoever shot me, guy couldn't even walk and chew gum. The nurse was nice though, pretty also. I really got the feeling she cared for me. But I know you can't trust women, I learned that lesson. But on a high note I get to sleep in a bed with clean sheets tonight.

So its my day off. I was kinda pissed that the weather was actually decent today, you know, because recently I've had to go out on that damn boat in such shitty weather and now it's nice, on my day off. So with my time off I decided to clean the shithole I live in. I mean a cleaning has long been overdue so I thought I might do something good for myself. Then some little fuck pulled the fire alarm. I couldn't believe it. Maybe it's a sign that I should never try to do anything to better my life. Just accept my life sucks and keep on truckin. God damn it. So anyways I have to go outside into the cold while the fire department takes forever getting to the building and then some chick was saying they have to go through every floor. Wonderful, I got to be out in this damn cold all day long now. Anyways I went and picked up a 12 pack and headed over to the park to kill time. So I'm trying to find a place to sit and there's this one bench thats getting a lot of sun so I decided to head over there. There was some chick sitting on it also with some papers. She was thin but still good looking. I thought that maybe if I was lucky I wouldn't have to pay to get laid. So I sat down next to her and she threw me a dirty look, like I was a walking corpse or something. Nothing new to me but I shot a glance at her papers and saw she was writing poetry. You've got to be kidding me. That little defenseless chick lives here and squanders her time away with art. Honey needs a reality check because here that won't get you anything. All art really is just a waste of time and energy. It doesn't make a difference. What, seeing some painting or reading some novel is going to change my life. Yeah you can count on that happening. I'll quit my job and starve to death because my paintings suck. Thats a very noble lifestyle. Whatever, if all that chick does is write then maybe in a month I will be able to pay her for some pleasure. So I guess art is good for something.

So last night I decided to watch the eleven o'clock news, you know channel 6 with that weather girl with the big tits. While I was staring at her jugs I happened to overhear the word snow, and sure enough the next morning brought a blanket of cold gray snow. Obviously my favorite weather seeing as I have to ride my bike down to the lake. I had to bang the ice off of my lock on the fire escape when I got down on the ground, some dick tried to yell out at me for waking him up. Probably just another drunk with a hangover. Anyways, I was going through this slush on the side of the road when some jackass walking his dog steps out in the road in front of me. I tried to swerve but ended up lying in the snow. So I got up and started yelling at this guy. Guess what, guy is blind. Dog was one of those helper dogs. Now felt like shit in two ways, I yelled at a poor blind guy and I was covered in dirty slush. So after another miserable day out on the water and on my way home I saw another beautiful sight. A fucking tree had fallen and knocked out the power. My building got power back soon but the damage was done. That building might as well have paper walls, it was colder inside than it was out. I pulled out all of my blankets and went to bed cold and alone.

God almighty it was cold today. That wind was blowin so hard from across the water I almost fell of my damn bike. And to make sure I had a great day when I got to the port my feet got wet. Can you believe that shit. I got to spend eight hours on this god forsaken boat with freezing cold wet feet. Just a wonderful start to another day in my thrilling life. What am I supposed think, "oh how I love the spray of the lake on my face." Yeah that's the truth, just like how I'm going to graduate from college. So we caught some more shitty fish to sell. You know if we didn't cut these fish up ourself I don't think I would have a job. You should see what we get sometimes. They look like God let his three year old kid draw what these fish are gonna look like. I don't even know how some of them swim. And to think that people eat them, we live in a screwed up place. I bet that little retarted boy got that way from eating these damn fish. So when I got back to my place and took my shoes and socks off my feet were purple, are you kidding me. To rid myself of the pain I walked over to that Indian's liquor store. Nice guy, but once again I ended up drinking cheap tequila by myself watching some old episodes of Seinfeld.